[21 Oct 2004|11:35am] Well, well. Firstly, my apologies for not updating with this sooner, but the pressures of real-life and the significant time passing between the date of starting this journal and the publication of the letter, meant that I missed it completely. Thanks to Joan (thank you if you pass back through here!!) I was alerted to the fact that my letter, the one that we all signed to Mr Paul Alley, was in fact published by the nice folks at the San Francisco Chronicle. Straight women do too enjoy watching gay sex. It's the second letter down on that page. So, in a way, mission accomplished. Congratulations ladies and gents, Mr Alley has been set straight (so to speak). While I'm thrilled that the SF Chronicle published the letter - it was, after all, the reason for this project (Should I call it a project? It almost seems like it is one now.) - what thrills me more is the signature count on the letter. Today, at 11.37am GMT, there are 727 signatures. That's 727 women (and some men) standing up and declaring their sexuality. Some people have done it anonymously, and while I thought about deleting their comments, I haven't. There aren't many, and it's clear that even though they are anonymous, they were written by real women. Perhaps they weren't comfortable stating their names - we all understand why. Even I'm a little nervous about it, but sometimes facing your fears head on is the best way to becoming the person you strive to be. So, I think every woman should pat themselves on the back for their contribution. It really does feel good to answer him back, doesn't it? Mr Paul Alley did not infringe on my personal liberty when he made his statement. Nor do any of the men (and women) that think it's odd...a little weird...disgusting... Whatever they think, or say, has little real impact on my day to day life. However, it is not anyone's place to judge or pass judgement, and that's what I object to, particularly when the judgement comes from a man regarding something that is all female. I firmly believe that one day women's enjoyment of gay sex will be considered as normal and uninteresting as men's interest in lesbian sex. However, there is a long way to go. Partly because society is yet to fully accept homosexuality, and the mechanics thereof, as something as loving and beautiful as heterosexual love and sex, and partly because society doesn't want to see women displaying sexuality that straight men can't understand and be a part of. In time, the ideas of what makes 'a man' and what turns a woman on will develop and become something that we recognise, but until then, men (and many women) will continue to pigeonhole us and push us into a mould that they can comprehend. In private, we will continue to subvert that idea and enjoy doing it. As I said below, if you have recently come across this journal, I would encourage you to still sign the letter and add your thoughts. I read every single comment, even if no one else does, and I love reading them. Go on, answer Paul Alley back. Tell him how it is. I don't know that there will be any further developments now specifically in relation to this letter, but I am going to keep this journal open. What I have decided to do is update it as and when there are interesting articles and commentary on female sexuality, particularly as it relates to gay sex. If anyone wishes to contact me regarding any of the posts in this journal, or wishes to share information, please e-mail: womenontop@gmail.com Many thanks, Claire P.S. As some time has passed since the first posting regarding this letter, I would appreciate it if those that do stop by here pass on the information that the letter was published to those that may have signed it, but do not know recent developments. I'm keen for those that took the time to sign the letter to know that what we wanted was achieved. Thank you. Edited to add: I'd just like to thank Ani, well we all should. It was her idea to write a letter. I just did as I was told. :D 8 signatures| sign this letter

[29 Sep 2004|01:39pm] I don't know how many people will pass back through this journal after having left their comment, but I feel compelled to update everyone on the letter. As promised, I sent a letter to the Editor of the San Francisco Chronicle, the reason the open letter was posted in the first place. I re-thought my original plan because of the sheer overwhelming response. So I sent a short letter with a link to here because it was no longer just about what I had to say, with additional signatures of support - it was now about what *all* the women that signed had to say. If you would like to know what I wrote, please read under the cut. ( Dear Editor... ) And you will be pleased to know that the writer of the original article (which I was so impressed by), Neva Chonin, replied with this comment: From: Chonin, Neva Date: Wed, 29 Sep 2004 11:07:33 -0700 Subject: RE: Dear Editor To: Clairey What can I offer you but a curtsy of admiration? ::curtsies:: -- There is something that I would like to clarify. This is not a petition, nor is it any kind of campaign insomuch as there is no end goal, except perhaps changing one Mr Paul Alley's opinion on whether 'women's sexuality works that way'. It was a letter by me (not even my own idea, but the idea of a friend) that friends could sign. That it took on a life of its own is no surprise. Women have not been able to talk about this before. There is a notable lack of study on women's sexual fantasies as they relate to the act of sex between two men. Maybe it's still just that little bit taboo. But if anything has come out of this last couple of days, it's that women need to voice their desires and they want to do so. We want to shout about it, we want men to know about it (not necessarily understand it) and accept it as perfectly normal and indeed widespread. So, saying that, I would like people to continue to sign. Say it, shout it, be proud and unafraid to declare that gay sex is arousing. I know as well as everyone who has signed the letter that saying it aloud and away from the anonymity of the Internet would mean the kind of reaction that Paul Alley might have had if any of us had said it to his face, so say it here and feel a sense of release. [Edited to add] Please sign the letter HERE. Many thanks. [/] I have read every single comment and I'm completely overwhelmed by it. Finally, it appears that I have found Mr Paul Alley. I hope that I can direct him here to personally read every comment whether the editor of the SF Chronicle decides to publish the letter or not. I shall keep everyone updated. Many thanks to every woman, straight, gay, bisexual and transgendered...and the two men...that signed. Claire 42 signatures| sign this letter

[27 Sep 2004|02:10pm] Dear Editor, Paul Alley's letter (SOAP OPERAS OFFER STRAIGHT WOMEN A BETTER SHOW THAN SHOWTIME'S 'QUEER AS FOLK' - Sunday, September 26, 2004) regarding female sexuality put me in a rather confused situation today. For a moment I thought I was the embarrassing cousin of the straight female population - one of the so-called minorities that found boy-on-boy action arousing. I had one of those moments where I sunk low into my computer chair, willed myself invisible to my work colleagues, and stared into the abyss of my black coffee. I had reverted back to a woman who had never read Nancy Friday's 'My Secret Garden' - a woman that believed her sexual desires were all wrong. Happily, this was short-lived. Because Mr Alley is a man, and why on earth would a man know better than I the nature of my own sexuality? Or, indeed, the reality of many women's sexuality. Perhaps Paul Alley would like to speak to my friends and I about what really turns us on? Or perhaps he would like to read some of the millions of gay erotica stories (affectionately known as slash), written by women of all ages and nationalities, that depict explicit gay sex. There was a time when women weren't supposed to have sexual fantasies and desires. I thank the gods every morning that it is no longer the case. But I still have to wake up to a world where men tell me my sexual fantasies are not 'normal', and a world in which men presume to know better than a woman her own sexual desires. We should have moved on from this by now, we really should. This letter was written by one straight woman, but the sentiment holds true for many women around the globe that Paul Alley has successfully offended with his arrogance. I have asked them to sign this letter and show Mr Alley, and the many other men like him, that straight women like gay sex...they are aroused by it...and that they are not afraid to say it out loud. Sincerely, Claire D England If you wish to sign this letter, please leave a comment stating your name (full name if possible please), where you are located, and any comments you have for the editor/Mr Paul Alley. Edited to add: You may sign the letter without logging in if you wish, but you must comment with your name or your signature will be deleted. 761 signatures| sign this letter

[27 Sep 2004|01:52pm] A little background if you've wandered over here randomly. Neva Chonin wrote a really great article entitled Young Gay Men. Young Gay Men Having Sex. The article was, in part, a response to another excellent article by Romy Shiller entitled, Why is Queer As Folk Making Women Wet? The assertion of these articles, that women find watching boy-on-boy action arousing, was disputed authoritatively by Mr Paul Alley in a letter to the editor. Read it here The letter prompted a response from women horrified by the assertion that they don't know their own sexuality. A letter was spawned and several people wanted to sign it. It is here, signed by women that get turned on by gay sex.

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